What It’s Like to Be an Adoptive Mom — Meet Alex
Being a mom is one of the most challenging things most people ever do. Taking care of a tiny human (or SEVERAL) is a freaky amount of responsibility that, all too often, reduces the faint of heart to a crying heap on the bathroom floor.
(Ask me how I know).
But being an adoptive mom is a special kind of challenge, an emotional rollercoaster that many of us just don’t have the stamina of spirit for. In fact, according to the Adoption Network Law Center, about one-third of Americans have considered adopting a child, but only 2% have gone through with it.
Joovy Mom Alex is the proud adoptive parent of two beautiful children, and we interviewed her for our #JoovyMoms Mother’s Day series.
The Struggle With Infertility
Like millions of other Americans, Alex and her husband struggled with infertility for years before adopting their children.
“I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Some people dream of having a specific career. I dreamed I would be a mom.”
“We thought we would wait a year to have kids and then just keep having them until we had a big family. Instead, we had to pray and wait years before we had our first precious miracle in our arms.”
The most common cause of infertility in the US is typically difficulty with ovulation due to hormonal imbalances, a problem that the US Department of Health and Human Services estimates 10% of couples struggle with.
“With our long difficult road of infertility, I truly believe it made me a better person. I love who I have become. I have so much empathy and understanding for others amidst their struggles. I wish no one had to face infertility, but I am thankful for who I have become.”
The Challenges of Adopting a Child
Despite there being over 101,000 children waiting to be adopted in the US, the process for adopting a healthy infant can take as long as seven years. Most children available for adoption in the US are school-aged children.
There are home studies, biological parents and parental rights, legal fees, background checks, paperwork and paperwork and ENDLESS rescheduling. Foster and adoptive parents will tell you, it’s an emotional rollercoaster, held together more bureaucratic red tape than you can shake a stick at.
But for mothers like Alex, it was worth every moment of struggle to finally have a family of her own.
“I love our story. I love getting to share the beauty of adoption with so many. I love when others see our story and share that they are now looking into adoption. Every adoption starts with brokenness, but there can also be so much beauty through it all. We have open adoptions with both our girls’ birth moms. Our girls are loved so much by so many.“
More Than Enough Love to Go Around
In her interview, Alex talks about some of the misconceptions she’s encountered with people in regards to her adopted children.
“There is a lot of fear around adoption. There is fear that the love for a child through adoption won’t be the same as a biological child. I wish I could shout from the rooftops that the love is the same. It grows. It multiplies. I would give anything for my girls. Most of the time, I forget they didn’t come from my tummy.”
“My girls are through and through my own kids.”
Alex’s Advice to Aspiring Adoptive Parents
“My biggest [piece of] advice is to be thankful. In the hard times, it’s difficult to realize what blessings we have been given. But you never know who around you would dream to have their hands full with screaming crying kids. After years of infertility and dreaming of being a mom, I said I would appreciate these moments. Don’t get me wrong, we have hard days, but I can still be thankful at the end of the day.”
We asked Alex what she wanted for Mother’s Day this year.
“All I want for Mother’s Day is to grow our family by another little one.”
Mothers are strong, selfless, and relentlessly dedicated to the happiness of their children. Today, we honor adoptive moms, who have found enough love within them to love a child that came from someone else.
Happy Mother’s Day, #AdoptiveMoms.
