The Liberation of the Modern Working Mom — Meet Christina
Every mom is special and worthy and enough, but this week, Joovy Magazine wanted to highlight specific types of moms that face unique challenges and unexpected blessings.
Today, we meet working mom Christina, whose passion for fun and personal identity has led her to find the delicate balance between work and her children.
“Up until the day I pushed my first son out I wasn’t truly sold on the idea of becoming a mother. It was a slow burn for me. But gradually, over time, I fell in love with being a mom.”
The State of the Working Mom
In the last 100 years, American culture has slowly but surely done a complete 180 on the role of the matriarch. In that time, we went from depending on (and downright expecting) women to work within the homes, to women holding positions as CEOs in 5% of Fortune 500 companies.
While the number is admittedly low, 100 years ago, it was unheard of. Now, women represent not just a growing part of the workplace, but a growing part of the leadership that is helping industry reinvent itself and what it stands for.
The Working Mom’s Mental Game of Tug of War
Victorious and impressive though it may be, the rise of the working mom isn’t without its challenges. With only 15% of US employees receiving any kind of paid family leave, new mothers struggle to straddle the line between life-giver and breadwinner.
“I feel like people maybe don’t understand how torn a mom can feel making the decision to be a working mom, or any type of mom. People judge you no matter what you do because you are a mom.”
In an oscillating battle between maternal guilt and the desire to rise, moms like Christina are conquering their fears of inadequacy with a passion for purpose in their work.
“My name is Christina. I’m 36 years old. I am married to my husband John have two boys (three years old and 10 months). I live in Irvine and I work full time as an inventory control specialist for a big box retailer.”
Beyond the Mom
For Christina and moms like her, being a mother was never the sum total goal of their existence. In the US, 86% of women have children by the end of their childbearing years. According to the Department of Labor, 70% of American mothers participate in the workforce, with three-quarters of them working part time.
What does this mean?
It means that no mom is just a mom — least of all, working moms.
These are women who, before they became mothers, and after, had ambitions and plans that went well beyond just what their reproductive capabilities were.
The result is a culture that is rapidly learning that moms are a force to be reckoned with in the workplace. Women own almost ten million businesses, with a combined total annual revenue of $1.4 trillion.
You go, mamas.
The Balancing Act
The number of households relying on mothers to be the breadwinners has risen by 29% in the last 60 years. Moms are now doing more than ever, and dads are gradually transitioning into more hands-on, supportive roles.
But doing it all means, more often than not, accepting that you can’t, a fact that Christina is all too familiar with.
“As a working mom I love feeling like I can do it all, even though that’s so far from the truth.
But if I can work a full day, come home, feed the kids, bathe them, be silly with them, and get them in bed on time, I feel like super mom. I may look like roadkill at the end of the day, but I feel like I can conquer the world if I accomplish all that.”
How Working Moms Are Making It Work
Keeping kids healthy and happy, a clean house, AND driving a powerhouse career forward is a lot to take on. All of these pressures coupled with the virtual dissolution of the generational parenting model in American culture has left moms without their ‘villages’, and with more responsibilities than ever.
But you won’t find any damsels in distress here. Working moms get it all done by using a few secret superpowers:
- They take care of themselves first. Working moms understand the impact their physical and mental health has on their families, because when they’re in poor health, they can’t work. Exercise and plenty of sleep are non-negotiables when you’re a working mom.
- They accept that they can’t do it all. The harsh reality of there being only 24 hours in a day means that working moms have to get creative. Forget the stigmas about hiring a housekeeper/nanny/personal assistant — this is about survival.
- They’re fully present when they’re with their kids. When you work outside the home 40+ hours per week, it makes those moments you can spend with your kids that much more precious. Working moms make the most of every moment.
“I feel like people don’t realize that I enjoy work. I enjoy doing what I do. It allows me to cherish the moments I spend with my kids because they are not often during the week.
That’s not to say that I don’t want to be with my kids at all. Or that I’m not sad that I can’t be the person that’s with them all the time. It just means that I am my own person and doing things that make me happy is very important to me.”
You Get to Be Your Own Person
If there’s one thing Joovy Magazine wants mothers to understand this May, it’s that you get to have it all — you get to be a mom. You get to have a high-powered career. You get to have passions and hobbies and your own identity. You get to be what makes you, you.
“If I can teach my kids anything it’s that you can do whatever you want to do. Whatever decision you make about what you do with your life, you make sure it’s something that you enjoy. Life isn’t worth living if it doesn’t bring you joy in some way.”
We asked Christina what she wanted for Mother’s Day:
“I want a full day to do whatever I want — just a day where I don’t have to worry about anyone for a bit.”