The First Time You Leave Your Kids for the Night: A Worried Mom’s Survival Guide
The time has finally come: You have spent the past days and months being your child’s sole provider. You made sure they were fed lovingly, their emotional needs and support were met, and gently put them to bed every night. But now something is calling you away.
Perhaps it’s an overdue date night, time for solo self-care, or a work or personal engagement that is physically drawing you away from your child. The time has come Mama; you can now cue the big emotions, separation anxiety, mom guilt, and worry that may come along with this big transition for you and your child.
If you’re really blessed though, there’s an eager grandparent waiting to care for your babe as you take this time for yourself. Deep down, you know how much this grandparent cares for your child. You know how much love they have for your child and how they will do everything to make them happy and safe. Even so, it’s still normal to feel scared and nervous for the big moment where you walk out the door and leave the babes behind.
It is the biological norm to want to be with your child. Leaving them for the first time can feel scary and overwhelming, and you are not alone.
While you are experiencing a very impactful transition of trust in this moment of motherhood, here are some steps that can help during this monumental moment for both you and your babe.
Remind yourself that you are ok
Because biology plays a huge role in a mother’s level of concern for her child and its proximity to her, you have to work extra hard to let your nervous system know that this temporary leaving of your children is okay.
By taking a deep breath and placing your hand on your heart, you can calm down your brain and let it know that this is NOT a situation of imminent danger.
Communicate honestly with grandparents
Share how you are feeling with the caregiver who will be watching your child. Chances are when they were parents, they too experienced the nervousness that you are.
Remember, feeling anxious or nervous is normal. Embrace these feelings and allow them to drive you forward for communication. Speak your truth in a way that allows your child’s caregiver to know that you do trust them, you are just not used to being away and allowing someone else to be the main point of contact.
Set everyone up for success, then surrender
This is where you prepare, plan, and trust. Set your caregiver up for success by sharing your best practices and schedule with them. Send extra bottles, extra clothes, extra diapers ALWAYS.
If you’re taking your babes to their home, make sure your children will have a place to rest and relax by bringing a portable sleep space, like a Coo Bassinet and Playard.
Commit to having a great time
The toughest part of leaving your child in the care of a loved one is relaxing and trusting they are okay while you are away. Before you drop your child off, commit yourself to have a great time. Establish a positive emotional state for yourself in anticipation of being present and enjoying your surroundings when you are there.
Leaving your child in the care of another is a BIG DEAL. Give yourself grace through this experience. Be gentle with those around you who are willing to support your mama-moment and trust that in the arms of a loving grandparent or caregiver, your child will be just fine.
You can do this Mama!
