Un-Busy? Slow Down? No way. If I slow down, the laundry will pile up. If I get un-busy, the family won’t get fed. If I take a break or take care of myself, my whole entire world will fall apart because guess what?

If I don’t do it, it won’t get done!

If I put it all down, my house and my life will start to look like me or how I feel.

A TOTAL COMPLETE MESS!

 

I Took a Mommy Vacation In A Mental Health Facility

 

 

 

#TRUESTORY. Nearly 10 years ago, I had a nervous breakdown to the point I didn’t even know my own social security number. I couldn’t even read Dr. Seuss’s ‘Cat In The Hat’ to my kids.

Not slowing down. Not taking the time to get un-busy… What an oxymoron, right? Going, going, and going landed me in the place I most feared. I couldn’t take care of myself. I was unable to work. I was dehabilited and could not care for my family.

Before I ran out of gas, I can tell you that I wasn’t operating at my fullest potential either. It wasn’t like I went from Supermom to super sick in one day. It happened over months of not doing what I needed to do for me. It happened because I said “yes” to everyone else but myself.

 

The Lies We Tell Ourselves (…along with Facebook and the rest of the world)

 

 

 

Believing that I had to keep it all together for my family put me in a position where I couldn’t.

You’re a mom!

You can do this!

It’s your job!

Suck it up!

This is what our own mothers tell us. This is how every perfect mommy and me picture on Instagram makes us feel. Judgy moms in Mommy FB groups are criticizing one another even though secretly, they too have one foot inside the psychiatric hospital. Don’t believe the lies.

Suck it up? Yeah. Suck this!

 

I Am The Most Important Person In My Life

 

 

 

Yes. It’s true. YOU are the most important person in your life.

Say it with me: I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE. 

This is one of the most important things I learned as I was recovering from my breakdown. We are all struggling as mothers and as parents. Nobody has a perfect life. If I didn’t publicly speak about my struggles; motherhood, childhood abuse, divorce, relationships, finances, etc. everyone would think success came easy to me.

“I’m more important than my kids?”

GASP.

Yes. You are more important than your kids.

If you don’t love yourself as much as you love your children and don’t care for yourself as you do your family, how can you successfully navigate motherhood and life without losing your mind? Literally.

 

Fill Up Your Tank, Please

 

 

 

Visualize this. Imagine your car. If your car runs out of gas, what’s going to happen? DOH! Your car is going to die but not completely. It will just cease to function. You call AAA or make the uncomfortable call to your husband. Your gas tank is filled, you turn the key, and the engine starts.

Is your tank nearing empty?

Rolling your eyes right now? One more thing to feel guilty about? One more thing to put on my “To Do” list? How do I make the time? How do I get everyone to leave me alone?!?!

There are 24 hrs in a day. Don’t tell me you can’t find at least 10 minutes once or twice a day to JUST DO YOU!

Sometimes you can’t slow down life but you can slow down your mind. The mind that drives you nuts with all of the things you have to do. The mind gets tired and foggy and causes you to lose your patience. The mind is constantly telling you that you can do it better, faster, and more efficiently.

 

Breathe

 

 

 

What? Breathe? That’s your advice? Yes. That’s my advice.

Several months ago, I was asked to put together a presentation on alternative holistic methods of self-care for the mental health facility I had the pleasure of staying at in 2010. Ironic, right? The patient becomes the teacher.

Intentional Breathing vs. Survival Breathing. Of course, we breathe every second of every day but are you breathing simply to stay alive? Did you know that the quality of oxygen and the energy around it changes when you breathe with intention? That’s one benefit of meditation. It can take you from crazy to calm in a matter of minutes.

Some people don’t like to meditate. They think it’s hokey or too hard. So don’t. Just take 10 minutes or 10 seconds to breathe with intention. If you find yourself in a moment of chaos or panic, stop and breathe. Slow, deep breaths. If you can, make a commitment to yourself every day when you wake up, at lunch, and before you hit the hay, to just breathe.

If you want to try guided meditation or need some groovy chill music to help you settle your nerves, I recommend the Insight Timer app. It’s free and has thousands of meditations for beginners and the more advanced.

 

Hug A Tree

 

 

 

Spending time outside in nature has been scientifically proven to help ease stress, anxiety, and depression. I tell my clients when they are feeling overwhelmed and their heads are floating away from their bodies, “GO OUTSIDE!!!”

You don’t need to go for a walk or a run. Just go outside and stand barefoot in the grass or dirt. Sit with your back up against a tree. HUG THE TREE. I’m serious! Nature carries a calming and grounding energy. It will help you to feel focused and anchored.

 

Put Down The Phone

 

 

Unless it’s to read or listen to a book, or to find a groovy chill tune to meditate with while you are standing in the dirt, please put the phone down. No, I’m not judging your phone usage! Your phone can make you feel guilty all on its own with its weekly usage update.

I’m just saying that while modern technology is freaking fantastic, it has also created disconnection from what is real. Almost everything we see on the internet and in the media, mainstream or social isn’t necessarily filled with light and love. Why add more stress by constantly checking updates and commenting on 80% of the crap that doesn’t matter?

Put down the phone and GO HUG A TREE.

 

Love Yourself

 

 

 

Life will always be busy. There will always be bills to pay, mouths to feed, and kids to the chauffeur. There will always be laundry in the hamper; dirty or clean. That is a constant. Your family deserves a happy life; the one that you provide for them but they also deserve YOU, healthy and at peace.

You’re more valuable than the car in your driveway that you take the time to put gas in. You’re just as important as the expensive appliances that wash your dishes and keep your clothes clean.

I could list 100 ways for you to get an adult TIME-OUT but if you don’t believe, I’m the most important thing in my life, you won’t find the time to actually take one. If you don’t shift your mindset from YOU to ME, one day I might not be able to care for YOU.

Love yourself. Look in the mirror every day and say “I Love You…” It’s not about finding the time. It’s about believing that you deserve it. When you believe it and you express it to those around you, I promise you that the time will magically appear.

 

Do you feel like you’re on the brink of insanity every other day? As a mother, have you experienced crippling anxiety? You aren’t the only one! Comment or share your stories.

 

 

***If you are experiencing anxiety or depression, reach out for support. There is no shame in asking for help. We all go through struggles in our lives that can heavily impact our well-being. You are not alone. For resources go to https://www.nami.org/***