Liz’s story shook me to my core. Liz suffered from multiple miscarriages before giving birth to two healthy children, a struggle that just 1% of American moms experiences.

“From a young age I always knew my calling was to be a mother. I dreamed of having five or six kids, in a house full of tiny feet running amuck and lots of laughter flowing from every room.”

Liz’s difficulties in conceiving challenged her through four miscarriages. Though multiple miscarriages are rarer, as many as 20% of American women will face at least one miscarriage in their lives.

Rainbow moms are defined as mothers who have suffered an infant loss or miscarriage and found a happy ending with their rainbow child — a healthy baby born at full term.

 

Rainbow Moms: You Are Not Alone

Liz isn’t alone. In the US each year, 24,000 babies are born stillborn, and roughly 15 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Despite the changes in modern diet and the advancements in healthcare, this is a number that has, by and large, stayed the same.

Though many mothers struggle with feelings of guilt and blame through this process, research has shown that, in most cases, stillbirth and miscarriage are dictated by chromosomes, not by the health of the mother.

“The biggest struggle for me as a “rainbow mom” is still grieving our losses.

It is not lost on me how fortunate we are to have my two beautiful children, but I am still hurting from each of our losses. I find myself daydreaming of all six of my children together, the sound of their laughter, or the sight of seeing their first smile.”

Liz’s painful journey to motherhood is a story of determination, faith, and incredible strength — a journey that has made Liz and moms like her incredibly grateful for the path they get to walk with the children they’ve been able to carry to term.

 

Starting a Family With IVF

Liz’s path to motherhood was a challenging one, and one that as many as 6.1 million American women face. Loss and miscarriage in the United States affect as many as 20% of American women.

“We had two miscarriages before getting pregnant with my son, as well as two after my son before my daughter.”

Liz and her husband turned to IVF, or in vitro fertilization, after having their son with hormone treatments and having two miscarriages afterward. After speaking to doctors, Liz was told that her best hope for conceiving and carrying another baby to term was IVF, a procedure that would cost $20,000 or more.

“We would need to find a company who had fertility coverage if we wanted to expand our family. I started working at Starbucks coffee, from 3:30 am to 9:00 am, five to six days a week, for additional insurance coverage. Four months later, I received my fertility coverage and went in to map out my injection schedule and procedure information.”

 

But then something amazing happened.

“We had to wait until my period started to start taking birth control and do additional testing. We took a test at my office that showed I was not pregnant, even though my period was late. We waited an additional four days before testing at home when we got a BFP (Big Fat Positive!!).”

Liz began taking additional hormones to maintain the pregnancy, and went on to give birth to a healthy baby girl — her now three-month-old daughter, Carolyn.

 

“I am so blessed to be the mother of two beautiful and healthy children. They are the greatest gift I could ever ask for. Staying at home with them fills every day with love, challenges, and excitement. I have learned patience, kindness, and love all in such a new way.”

 

The Beauty and Pain of a Rainbow Mom

Rainbow moms carry an incredible weight upon their shoulders. As they learn to adapt and find their rhythm with the children they were able to carry to term, they must also cope with the grief of their losses — a pain that Liz says, never fully goes away.

“The pain doesn’t stop after having a baby. The grief doesn’t disappear.”

Through all of that pain and loss though, mothers like Liz have risen from some of the most challenging and darkest moments in their lives to a level of love and appreciation that is nothing short of beautiful. Rainbow moms have a unique perspective, and something to teach us all — that motherhood truly is a gift, and that we are so, so lucky to walk this path together.

“I dream of being the “soccer mom.” I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to get into sports so I can be their number one fan!

Ultimately, all I want is to raise my children to be happy, healthy and good people. I want them to be able to come to me with anything and feel loved, safe and supported. The greatest gift we can give our children is our unconditional love.”

To the moms struggling to carry a baby to term or cope with their losses, Liz had these words of encouragement to share.

“If you are currently struggling with a similar story, my heart is with you. To the women yearning to be mothers, mothers of children in heaven, mother’s struggling with grief, loss or infertility, please remember, you are not alone.

Supporting Rainbow Moms

If you know someone going through infertility or loss, I urge you to reach out to them this Mother’s Day. Even if It’s just sending a thoughtful text or email saying you are thinking of them this day, or asking them ahead of time “how can I support you?” Such a small gesture can help those currently longing or grieving greatly.”

Happy Mother’s Day, to all of the Rainbow moms and mothers still struggling with miscarriage and fertility. Though the journey to motherhood may feel unfairly difficult, there is light in the darkness. Keep the faith, and keep stories like Liz’s close to your heart this Mother’s Day.

 

We asked Carolyn what she wanted for Mother’s Day this year — here’s what she had to say:

 

“This Mother’s Day I just want to be surrounded by my family and children and spend all day snuggling and doing art projects. However, some chocolate and flowers wouldn’t hurt either!”